For Posterity

Molly:  January 20, 2003 - February 1, 2016

Tess:  February 2, 2006 - October 20, 2013

Don't ask

We have a new rule around here. When you screw up, you will not get put in the corner. We'll bring the corner to you...then we will demoralize you on the internet. Rules are rules.

It's Official!

Molly has been inducted into the prestigious White Face Society. Her many years of hard work and her tireless effort fighting crime and injustice have finally paid off. Couple that with her infinite wisdom on matters of national security and her benevolence, Molly should be ready for prime time in no time.

Tess, on the other hand, is still waiting for the short bus to show up.

Please wait. Charging in progress.

We here at Just Golden are aware of the error messages and total system crashes you have been receiving when you get to about 60% of a full charge. Our administrators are working hard to correct the problem and we appreciate your patience as we resolve these issues.

Freeloaders

They are just hanging around and feigning affection because they think there is still a shot that we'll win a million bucks in our NCAA tournament bracket. No one tell them, okay?

Tess at 4

For most, today is Groundhog Day. Around these parts, where everyday is a groundhog day, it's Tess' birthday. Four years ago, I got an email informing (warning?) me that that the Tess train had pulled into the station. In the years that followed, she has earned all of her nicknames - Tess-a-mess, Snuggle Tess, Freakshow and Butthead.

She sheds on everything. She "attacks" door-to-door salesmen. She annoys that other dog that hangs around here. BUT, guess who is curled up at my feet as I write this?

State of the Union

It's getting to the point where I can no longer relax on the couch and watch tv with my dogs. Maybe I should remember to turn off Fox and Friends before leaving for work?

7?

Seven years ago, a great lady came into my life. Her name is Molly.

We love Mols.

Tessnuts roasting on an open fire

Women are easy to buy for...

...You just have to know what they want.

Tess has her moments

This is the vicious dog who chased a pushy door to door salesman down the street a few nights ago. The poor salesman, in addition to having some poor taste in tattoo placement, has to live with the fact that he ran screaming (like a little girl) and swinging when this dog accidentally made it out to the front porch.

No one was injured, although Tess may shy away from clip boards for a little while. All she was interested in was if the guy had a stash of tennis balls in the back pocket of his baggy pants. My guess is that the salesman is no stranger to being hunted by K-9 units.

You see, Tess usually hears this song in her head on constant repeat, but on Tuesday, there was an unconscious error in her internal music.

I suppose I should also thank Molly for participating by providing some bellicose barking at a safe distance, but it was Tess who did all the "work" and took all the shots like a champ.

Maybe they were just excited to meet the new guy at the door who just happened to be scared of dogs, or maybe they were really in protection mode. We'll never know. All we know is that there was a guy with me on the porch who would not take "no" for an answer and would not leave until the door swung open and the hounds were released...accidentally.

What was he selling? Home security systems. Irony is fun, but Goldens are funner!

Missing controlled chaos

Tonight the house is quiet. Molly and Tess are rotting away in dog jail. It's always hard to drop them off the day before leaving town. There is no one around to warn of the impending doom because of squirrels rooting around outside. If an acorn falls on the roof at 3am, I will have no way of knowing.

Being without my buddies makes me wonder what people without dogs all the time do in their spare time. Maybe it is the dogless who have made reality TV shows so popular. Maybe the dogless are responsible for global warming. Surely they are the ones behind Twitter.

Tonight, I am dogless. I'll be watching "Survivor" while sorting my recycling, but if you followed me on Twitter, you'd already know that.

Tess counted her money while sitting at the table

Appropriate measures were taken and the situation was rectified. Rules are rules.

Y'all have a great Thanksgiving and take some time to remember what it is that you are thankful for.

Long day

My dog is cooler than your dog!

Osmosis

Does anyone know how long you have to hold them together to make them both perfect dogs?

Wanted:

One good sharpened poking stick or some useful tips on how to move dead weight.

Health Care 101

What? This has nothing to do with health care! This is just some random internet person sharing pictures of some damned dogs.

If you have viewed this in error, please contact our customer service department and you will receive a full refund for the time you have just wasted in about 6-8 weeks.

We are still here...

...just reloading at the moment.

Public Service Announcement

Before I start, please know that Molly and Tess are fine. I have to post this though. I'm begging you all to get your dogs (and all the dogs you know) a life jacket if they are less than confident in the water.

Sure, we all lose our minds and get distracted when pools or lakes and cold beer are involved, but don't want to read about any of you doing that.