Women are easy to buy for...

...You just have to know what they want.

Tess has her moments

This is the vicious dog who chased a pushy door to door salesman down the street a few nights ago. The poor salesman, in addition to having some poor taste in tattoo placement, has to live with the fact that he ran screaming (like a little girl) and swinging when this dog accidentally made it out to the front porch.

No one was injured, although Tess may shy away from clip boards for a little while. All she was interested in was if the guy had a stash of tennis balls in the back pocket of his baggy pants. My guess is that the salesman is no stranger to being hunted by K-9 units.

You see, Tess usually hears this song in her head on constant repeat, but on Tuesday, there was an unconscious error in her internal music.

I suppose I should also thank Molly for participating by providing some bellicose barking at a safe distance, but it was Tess who did all the "work" and took all the shots like a champ.

Maybe they were just excited to meet the new guy at the door who just happened to be scared of dogs, or maybe they were really in protection mode. We'll never know. All we know is that there was a guy with me on the porch who would not take "no" for an answer and would not leave until the door swung open and the hounds were released...accidentally.

What was he selling? Home security systems. Irony is fun, but Goldens are funner!

Missing controlled chaos

Tonight the house is quiet. Molly and Tess are rotting away in dog jail. It's always hard to drop them off the day before leaving town. There is no one around to warn of the impending doom because of squirrels rooting around outside. If an acorn falls on the roof at 3am, I will have no way of knowing.

Being without my buddies makes me wonder what people without dogs all the time do in their spare time. Maybe it is the dogless who have made reality TV shows so popular. Maybe the dogless are responsible for global warming. Surely they are the ones behind Twitter.

Tonight, I am dogless. I'll be watching "Survivor" while sorting my recycling, but if you followed me on Twitter, you'd already know that.