Wednesday, January 30, 2008

An old saying is proven once again

I'm sure you know of the old saying that say only fools repeatedly fail at something by trying the same thing and expect a different result each time...or something along those lines.

Today was UPS's third attempt to deliver me a package at home between 2 and 5. The sticky note on my door said that tomorrow would be their fourth and final attempt. Guess what time they said they'd be back tomorrow? If you guessed between 2 and 5, give yourself a pat on the back.

Fortunately they left me a local direct number to call today. I called and changed the shipping address to my office fairly painlessly. "What can Brown do for you?" Good question.

Update: Guess where Brown attempted the final delivery today between 2 and 5? Bonus question...Guess whose blood is boiling?

Update #2: Don't believe they guy with the white board. Sure, he is a great on the spot artist, but he doesn't know the first thing about the process of rerouting packages. I do enjoy how he is able to make it look so easy though. My next day package is now 8 days late and I can't find it anywhere!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

This is where I slap my forehead

Remember this post? The one about the key from Vegas that Tess dug out of the back yard?

Last week I got an email with a link to this from eBay. Scroll down and read the description. It is fascinating. I'll be damned if it isn't the same address on the key that my "treasure hunter" found. Are you kidding me? $175 opening bid? I sure wish I hadn't put it in the trash!

I skipped trash day last week because I was gone, so it's probably still I have to go dumpster diving tomorrow night? Have Dremmel...will polish. Maybe the person who posted that key on eBay will take it off my hands at a deeply discounted price of 100 bucks. Everything must go. It's tax time and we must liquidate everything!

This just came in the Just Golden mail bag

I had to share...

Fifteen reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

7. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

8. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

9. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

10. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'

11. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

12. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

13. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

14. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

15. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff

Thanks, Buttheads!

Monday, January 28, 2008

I made it out of Mexico alive!

What a wonderful trip. We stayed at this tiny little hotel right off the harbor. There were maybe 20 rooms, most rented long-term by American ex-patriots who decided to give up the rat race and just live to make enough money to enjoy themselves as much as possible. One guy left his four construction companies in California and Colorado because he was tired of always having to be somewhere. Now, he has a company in Cabo that sells chocolate covered bananas to restaurants and in those carts on the street!

The reason for the trip was to view and experience some of the most luxurious sites the place has to offer and bring that home to the project we are working on now. The developer we went with was at the end of a two week vacation with his wife and he was eager to have some "guy's time" when we arrived, so we were able to get a lot of input from him. The trip culminated Saturday afternoon when we met him to tour the place he was staying. It was amazing...I mean this place would make any Ritz Carlton look like a complete dump!

As the day progressed, one beer lead to another, which lead to some fine wine with dinner, which lead to more beer after...which lead to tequila late Saturday night. Apologies are in order for the couple who got to sit next to me on the plane the next day at 7:15 in the morning! I also won the flight crew lottery...they were all comedians and LOVED hearing themselves and their stale jokes on the intercom. It took great restraint not to punch the ring leader square on the nose to get him to shut up. But I digress....

At 1 in the morning, we were laughing and throwing around ideas about how we could generate interest in the project while construction is going on. We were all drawing and throwing out ideas..."big" ideas, shocking ideas. All I can say is that you are ever around Lake Conroe and see a giant turret with a huge flame coming out of the top, you'll know where it came from. There won't be any signs at the construction site to give you any information on what is going on. They pulled them all out today. We are going to make people wait and thing is for sure, they'll know its going to be special!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I'm off like a prom dress...

...y'all stay out of trouble!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

And then...quiet

Tonight, my house feels empty. It is missing two of the most joyful souls I know. I dropped the girls off at the kennel about an hour ago at the last possible moment before they closed. I might need to turn the heat up a bit tonight. I'll also be shy two furnaces! Tonight, I don't have dogs. It's weird.

Tomorrow I'll be thinking of all of you while I enjoy my bloody Mary at the airport. Extra spicy please.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Interesting new development

Apparently, Molly has decided to start eating like those cows you see stretching their necks through fences trying to get at the greener grass on the other side.

I still have no clue who thought it would be a good idea to put that railing in my kitchen, but it finally has a purpose I guess.

Tomorrow night will be my last snuggle night with my girls. I have to take them in before the jail closes on Wednesday because our flight leaves at the crack of dawn on Thursday. I'm already dreading Wednesday night! Right on cue, Tess has decided to be in her, um, horny time. I'll be so happy if all she brings home is a flea or two. This will be my third or fourth time to use this kennel and I'll be damned if one of them wasn't in heat every single time. They must love me there!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Happy Birthday, Miss Molly!

Five years ago, a very special lady came into my life. She has stood by me through all the good times, and bad. No matter what life throws my way, I know she will be there at my side, eager to offer herself in a manner that perfectly fits the situation. Molly truly is one of a kind and I love her very much.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

This Friday, 2:35 pm

I should probably go to the practice range a time or two between now and the time I hit this tee shot...maybe pick up an extra dozen balls too.

3 wood?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Almost one full week in...

Things are going great at the new place. I've been so productive not having to deal with the day-to-day b.s. that went on in our old office. We confirmed our reservations for Cabo today...tomorrow, I'll confirm Molly and Tess' reservations at the local jail for when I'm gone. I made double sure not to leave anything to chance when booking the return flight and risk another miserable night with my dogs so close, but so far away.

Turns out that day became a monumental day in my life...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

What a fun time!!!

I just got back from introducing Molly and Tess to the new office. There is about 2.5 acres fully fenced for them to explore and I think they covered every square inch in the two hours we spent there. They also got to sniff around in my portable office trailer while I hooked up computers and printers.

I also got to see something very rare at the end of our romp. On the last ball throw, Tess ran to get it and when she got it, she laid down too tired to bring it back. Molly is a smart dog, when she's tired, she just watches as the ball bounces away. Tess on the other hand will go, go, go until she can't possibly go for another second. Worn out Tess is a fun dog to be around. Is there any doubt about what they are doing at the moment? I didn't think so. Adam is pretty worn out too and will likely wake up in the morning wondering why he can barely move is arm!

Good times though...good times!

The trailer needs a name I think. Right now, I'm leaning towards "Marge," but I'm open to suggestions.

Saturday, January 12, 2008


The move is complete! I was up at the crack of dawn this morning to get it over with as quickly as possible. For about the last 2 years I've been driving through a construction zone on the interstate back and forth to work. I'll be damned if they weren't painting lines this morning getting ready re-open the roadway that has caused me so much hassle and delay for the past years. I think someone out there tracks my every move on the road and they have been working diligently to finish the project just in time for me to never use that stretch of highway again (except for vet visits and haircuts.)

Monday morning will be interesting to say the least. New office. New people. New opportunities. New CAD monkey who doesn't know the first thing about what his job is, but he has the same last name of our new partner. Interesting indeed. How about some Saturday Tess while I work on a plan to teach my monkey how to dance...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

It's all over but the cryin'

I finished up a project at about 3 this afternoon and didn't want to start anything new, so I began packing. I went through everything and made multiple trips to the dumpster. I asked my self the same question many times. "Why do I still have this?" I came across my portfolio from college that I sent out with my resume and it got me thinking...

I remember sending that portfolio out and getting calls for interviews for jobs that were paying little more than poverty wages. I remembered the day I made the decision to pursue my current means of providing dog food. I was driving back from an interview and called my partner and said..."Let's do this. We know just as much as those other guys. It can work. It will be hard at first, but IT CAN WORK." After the call, I pulled off the interstate and found the first decent looking apartment complex I could find and signed a lease. I was all in.

We began working out of our homes and the construction "empire" was housed in an r.v. storage unit that we could barely afford. The office we are moving from was such a huge step in the maturation of our business. We've had many heated arguments over design issues. We've complained about countless calls from telemarketers. We've shared a beer or two after a long week. And inside those walls, we've consoled the family of a fine young man who was killed in a freak, tragic accident.

Tomorrow will be my last day there. All I have left to pack are the essential tools and technology to have a productive morning. Come 2:00, I'll load as much as I can and take it to the new location. By noon on Saturday, I'll be gone.

It didn't hit me until today, but I'm going to miss that place.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

So, I just took this out of Tess' mouth

I think there might be a story behind why the key to room #171 was buried in my back yard and I want someone to tell it to me.

All I know is that there is a big hole in the back yard and that Tess was so proud to bring me her treasure. What else is buried in the back yard? I hope it's gold!

Will you go to bed with me?

I've got two dollars in my wallet right now that says they say "yes." Molly will probably play hard to get. Tess will jump up and roll over on her back faster than I can say "let's go to bed."

One thing is certain, at 4 in the morning I'll have the weight of two dogs bearing down on me. One spooning and one with her butt in my face. I'll get up, take a leak and wait for the alarm clock to go off.

For the record, between the hours of 6 and 7 am, I'll be busy kicking dogs asses and thinking about the gifts I have been awarded. I will not take any calls, nor will I answer any emails. 6-7am is my time for "Battle Royale." Tess is easy to take down-she gives up without a fight. Molly, not so much. She'll pin you down and wait/beg for some loving.

These are my dogs and this is my life. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Moving date is now set in stone

By Saturday evening, my current office will be empty. My new office will be filled with boxes, chords and likely empty beer cans by the time it's all over. I wish I could snap my fingers and have it done. I hate moving, but it has to get done sometime.

My portable trailer will be filled with all my drawings and notes. I'll be isolated from the outside world, free to conduct business on my own terms. No time like the present to finally begin work on my manifesto!

I really need to get some pictures. This thing is 100% ghetto and just what I've been craving! I wonder if on Sunday I might be able to find a couple of dogs to come help with unpacking? I'm sure I can rustle some up...

Monday, January 07, 2008


A while back, one of my favorite web cartoonist posted a cartoon that had my panties in a wad. A few days ago, his wife who also has a cartoon apologized...Forgiven.

Things at the office were very quiet today

Normal Mondays mean that the phones start blowing up at about 8:05. Today, I was busy and didn't even realize that we didn't get one call. I kept working and waiting for the barrage to begin. Lunchtime came...still no calls. I was getting so much done. Then, it hit me. Today was the first day that the phones would be ringing at the new place.

When I finally get moved (this weekend) I will no longer be dealing with having to answer the phone. The phone won't even ring in my office unless it is first triaged and then forwarded. I know this is such a tiny little advancement, but it will benefit my productivity and creativity immensely.

I'm home tonight feeling that good feeling I get when my mind is a tired because I've been deep in thought all day. I actually earned my paycheck today because I was able to focus on what I get paid to focus on! I will miss jacking around with telemarketers though. Sometimes they call one after another and I am usually polite with the first one or two, but the third is always my favorite.

Sleep will be difficult tonight. The realization that my relationship with random callers will be severely curtailed will weigh heavy on my heart. I'll miss my conversations with "Randy" who oddly enough speaks with a heavy Middle Eastern accent. Hopefully, the pain will subside...

Saturday, January 05, 2008

A great Saturday

This morning, some passing showers yielded to some sun and much warmer temperatures. Some people complain that winter doesn't feel like winter here in the Houston area. Today it almost hit 80 with the same predicted through Monday. That's what I'm talkin' about! Those people who want their winters to feel like winter should move or take more trips to see winter in person. At the very least, they need to quit their bitchin'!

After morning cleaning and errands, I had the pleasure of a lunch "date" with the woman who I passed a "will you go with me? Check yes or no" note to back in the mid 80s. She checked yes and we have been the best of friends ever since. Back in the 5th grade, after the note, I was too scared to talk to her, but we were "going together." We never actually went anywhere, but in elementary school you aren't really all that mobile anyway.

Twenty-plus years later, we can talk about anything. Today, we both find ourselves at a crossroads...and we talked at length about it. The conversation was not always "sunny." There were times when voices began to shake and pauses for composure were required, but beer and margaritas were readily available, so we got through it!

I don't think anything about the crossroad was resolved, but I feel better about mine and I hope she feels better about hers. I am blessed to have such a special friend. We hadn't seen each other in about a year and a half, but after we sat down to lunch it was like we'd just seen each other last week. Sure, we talk on the phone from time to time, but you just can't replace face to face time.

As we said our goodbyes, she gave me a late Christmas present that I'll be able to proudly display next year. Tess must have been chasing a squirrel or something shiny...or maybe she was just off chewing on a stick...

I got some Golden Retriever boxer shorts from my parents for Christmas. How happy are you right now that I didn't post a picture of that?!

Friday, January 04, 2008

This Friday...

Its now official. We've ordered our new server and when I get the email that has been shipped, we'll schedule the network guy to come and get everyone all hooked up. My fantastic white trash tailer office will have water, power and a red neck septic system by Monday night. I'll be patiently waiting for your donation of a pair of pink flamingos to put outside my doorstep...once the steps are built of course. They will look great next to my lucky terra cotta pig that will watch over me in the coming months.

So much change, so much excitement, so many new projects...does anyone know of a moving company with the power to just snap their fingers and instantly have you in the new place? I hate moving. Onward and upward, indeed!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Reading with Tess-a-Mess

Who knew that me and Tess would have so much fun reading together! I'll read a bit and she'll snuggle up next to me. When I turn a page, she'll get back up and smell the next page. Rinse, lather and repeat. It's a good thing that Molly already knows everything. It might be difficult to read with both of them interested.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Reading. #3 resolution. Color me inspired at the moment. This book would have been great 2 months ago, but I'm glad I found it today. Tess is also glad I found smells and tastes good apparently.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

Welcome to brand new year with so much hope and promise. Enjoy the feeling while you can...the primary season starts the day after tomorrow.