Thursday, December 28, 2006

Charcoal in my stocking

Santa didn't like me this year. All he left was some charcoal in my stocking. At least Santa had the common decency to leave the charcoal in the form of a wonderful charcoal portrait of Molly and Tess.

We like Santa. Check out the actual drawing...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Just Golden, circa 1977

Daisy and a younger, blonder Adam. Yep, I finally got all my old pictures scanned on this trip home.

Y'all have a great Christmas!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Well, that's just perfect

I'm beginning the process of getting the dogs (and myself) all ready for a road trip in a couple of days. I'm homeward bound to share some Christmas cheer with my family and some old friends. There was to be much relaxing by the fire with my freakishly large headed nephew tugging on dogs ears and tails.

Right on cue, Tess throws me a curve ball. Tonight, little Miss Tess became a "woman," so she won't be invited into my parents house this Christmas. She'll have to stay her kennel and be miserable. No jacking around with our back door neighbor's strapping and handsome Goldens, no unadulterated joy of running wild and free off the leash, and no retrieving duck decoys from the mighty Concho River. Yea, Christmas is going to suck for Tess. Molly, however, is still invited to enjoy all the festivities.

Well, off to Wal-Mart to get some little boy underwear for Tess to wear during her special time. While I wait in line, I'll plan my birds and bees talk. I'll have plenty of time to ponder it. There will be two people in front of me slowly writing checks hoping that it won't clear until pay day, and no less than three others who are operating the credit/debit card interface for the first time in their lives.

"Ma'am, its upside down. Flip it over. Swipe it the other way like it shows on the picture. Nope, the other way. Are you using your Walgreens Frequent Shopper card? You are killing me. Give me the card...dammit. I'll do it for you."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Just Golden...and Poodle?

A while back, Poodle came into my life. Poodle and Tess are mortal enemies. They don't get any alone time together. Before Poodle, Tess never dug in the back yard. Now its a daily thing. I now know why. Turns out that you can try to bury Schnauzers too.

What does Molly think of Poodle and Schnauzer? She likes Schnauzer. Molly sure can take the Schnauzer down...Tess can too. Sometimes its embarrassing to watch though. Ahh, that's better Molly!

My Christmas wish is that Poodle, Schnauzer , Golden and Golden can learn to live in peace and harmony like old times....back before Poodle and Tess developed their rocky relationship.

Y'all have a great Christmas. Enjoy time with your family and friends. Apparently I'll be having a great time with my smelly, unshowered family. (The FEMA check will make it an extra special Christmas.)

Friday, December 08, 2006

If you're scared, get a dog...

...but what if your dogs are scared too? My dogs each have one quirky item that sends them into panic mode.

Molly freaks out when I bring out my big blue exercise ball. When she sees it, she darts to the bedroom to "hide" under the bed. She can only get her head under there, but because she is a dog, she believes in the principle of "if I can't see you, then you can't see me." Sometimes when nothing is on tv, I'll shut the bedroom door and chase her around the house and marvel at her evasive maneuvering skills. Fortunately for poor Molly, the exercise ball was designed for ab it rarely comes out of the closet. I don't know why I even call it an exercise ball. I never use it for its intended purpose. From this point on I'll start calling it a Molly tormenting ball.

Tess has always been pretty fearless, but she too has a phobia. Hers is much tastier than Molly's. Tess' panic attacks occur in 3 minute 30 second spurts. They usually occur just before I put in a movie. Yep, Tess freaks out at the sound of microwave popcorn popping. She will creeeeep into the kitchen to investigate. Then haul ass out with her tail between her legs. Then she'll creeeeep back in ever so cautiously. Then haul ass again. Then she'll creeeeep back in....well, I think you get the point. Needless to say, microwave popcorn is always on the grocery list.

Are they scared of thunderstorms? No. Thunder usually means rain, and rain is wet, and wet makes mud, and mud is fun. Are they scared of fireworks? No. Fireworks sound like shotguns, and shotguns mean birds are falling from the sky, and retrieving birds for your lazy owner is fun too. Sorry Molly, we didn't go this year. Next year, I promise! You can show Tess the ropes.

All I've got is a big blue Molly tormenting ball and my buddy Orville. What are your dogs afraid of?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Boring computer stuff

My afternoon was free today. Rather than surfing for the latest news on Britney's underwear situation, I decided to experiment with an application that makes computer generated drawings look hand-drawn.

Our clients often look at computer drawings and freak out because they don't understand that a drawing is just a graphic representation of an idea. We use drawings because it is much easier to dispose of a bad idea on paper rather than trying to get rid of a bad idea in the form of a large quantity of concrete. Still, the hard, cold lines generated by the computer seem so "final" and they panic.

I've got a meeting next week with a client where we will present the first set of drawings. I'm going to see if this new approach to graphic presentation has any effect on the productivity of our conversation. Will they "get it?" Will they understand that this is only a meeting to get their feedback on my initial design response and not a "here you go, this is can't change anything" meeting?

These folks are Italian immigrants who speak English poorly at best. I think I've killed the brain cells that were in charge of my grasp of the Italian language. Fortunately, they have an interpreter to help us out. I'm sure it will be a meeting full of sign language and lots of drawing to communicate ideas. It should be fun.

Oh yea, they have asked for a Renaissance villa style garden. I think we got the contract because of the time I spent in studying in Italy and my ability to recall details from some of their favorite examples. Thanks mom and dad for footing that bill...I swear, I studied the entire time I was there...and its finally paying off!

Back to the boring computer stuff.

Before handy dandy computer program:

And after:

Yes, its far from complete and I'm still jacking with it, but I still think that this is the coolest thing since google earth in combination with google's free 3D modeling software.

Sue me. Geek stuff amuses me when I'm away from Molly the Dog and Tess-a-Mess. I like my job. Sometimes, when everyone in the office isn't complaining about something (just for the sport of it) its actually kind of fun. I think I enjoy coloring days the most. My markers smell good!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My "no dogs on the couch" rule

I'm glad that Molly knows that dogs aren't allowed on the couch. Molly is quite the stickler for rules. Tess, bless her heart, isn't all that bright.

Or, is it me who isn't allowed on the couch? I'm so confused.

Wikipedia is wikiWRONG

Lap dog:

A lap dog is a dog that is small enough to be held in the arms or lie comfortably on a person's lap. Most lap dogs fall into the toy dog category. A lapdog is not a specific breed, but is a generic term for dogs of a small size and friendly disposition. Lapdogs were bred primarily as pets rather than for functionality.

I call B.S.