Saturday, May 23, 2009

Back in action!

It's been about a month since Tess has engaged in such nonsense. All throwable objects have been hidden out of site to avoid any temptation. This morning, I broke them out...and broke her back in. It was as if there had been no pause in the action. She is still faster than the camera. The blurriness does a good job of masking her other "issues" at least!

That's my girl! Glad to have her back.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Memorial Day 2009

I've always been a fan of this weekend. It usually involves friends, a body of water, and a slew of Goldens. This year, I will not get to see my buddy, MASON (all caps intended because that's how you say it.) I will not get to see Jesse, the stinky lake dog. Molly and Tess will will pout because they get no attention.

I wish I had that picture of what seemed like a million wet Goldens on a flooded dock a few Memorial days ago. That might help ease the pain.

Updated: Ask and ye shall receive...

From top to bottom: MASON, Jesse, Tess. Molly hates being on docks when there is a perfectly good body of water nearby.

Thanks to my anonymous source!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

For sale

One happy, energetic golden retriever. Slightly worn. Limps, but not much anymore. Good at catching, bad at manners. Open wounds are like new and only ooze on light colored fabrics. Comes with a bottle of peroxide and some spray that stings and makes her run and hide when she sees the bottle. Make an offer.

P.S. If you've never tried to shave a dog late at night after cocktail hour, I'll just say that they are much more slippery and more evasive than they look. I'd also recommend having someone there to film it. Tess, you're killin' me!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

So, do you feel lucky?

Molly truly is the most vicious dog on the planet. Why are people not really scared of her?

Monday, May 04, 2009

Tess is going to pull through!

Several days ago, I wrote something that I deleted shortly after writing. It was written out of total total fear and helplessness and was intended as a small distraction from what was happening. For those of you who did see the post and sent me some very kind words, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The story was this...last week I came home from work and was greeted by Molly in the usual way, but no sign of Tess. Did I leave her outside on accident that morning? Nope. I found her curled up in the bedroom corner shaking like a leaf and unable to walk. When she tried, it was a struggle and her legs would soon collapse beneath her. I'll fast forward through the part where I became totally hysterical thinking about the vet visit, more specifically, the car ride home. Trust me, it wasn't pretty.

I collected myself and carried her into the vet's office prepared for the worst. I'm so happy to say that the worst did not come. Apparently, Tess is a wuss and her paralysis was literally a result of being scared stiff. The physical examination ruled out all of my worst fears and further tests determined that she had a hyper-extended joint in her front paw.

Tonight, she still has a significant hitch in her giddy-up, but she is able to take care of herself again with the help of the meds. It is quite a struggle to restrict her movement, but the kennel helps and she is only allowed outside on a leash for the time being.

Good news indeed. Who knew she was such a drama queen?

Updated to add this one. Both of them are pitiful. Tess may have a valid excuse, but Molly is just p.o.'d that she isn't getting all of the attention.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Derby Day gold

No. I did not win a small fortune off of the bet that was a sure thing. My reward came in the form of something that you cannot assign a value. I got felt up by my soon to be sister-in-law!

First a little background. My brothers and I all look very similar. It being Derby Day, all the gentlemen were dressed very similar. My brother and I were wearing almost identical outfits.

I was just standing there when my sister-in-law came over to me and gave me what I thought was a little side hug. I returned the favor. It then became clear that a hug was not what she was after when her hand moved a little south of my lower back. A light bulb then appeared over my head.

She thought I was my brother, so what could I do other than respond in kind? The whole thing lasted for what seemed like an hour in my mind. In reality it was less than a minute. My brother came back to the group we were with and saw what was going on and also had a light bulb pop up over his head.

The mock fight that I had with him about infidelity and my doubts about their upcoming wedding...and my future sister-in-law's reaction to it was truly priceless. You don't always get to plan practical jokes. Sometimes they just fall right in your lap (or on your butt.)

Good times!