To Adam, Love Dad

The UPS man paid me a visit today at work. Packages are fun to get! This one was from Dear Ole Dad. What was inside? My bird flu drugs and special masks so none of you jokers can pass it on to me! The "money line" in the enclosed note was this:

I am convinced it's only a matter of time before bird flu gets here and by that time, pharmacies will be out and the mail service will have been shut down to prevent it from spreading.

He was sorry, but he was unable to locate any dog masks.

A little background makes this "gift" funny. Around 1996, when Y2K became a familiar part of our vocabularies, my dad began stocking up on guns, ammunition, medical supplies, batteries, food, water and, of course, toilet paper. He even went so far as to buy land in Honduras for us to spend the rest of our days after the proverbial "shit hit the fan." Somewhere around '98 he began buying cases upon cases of cigarettes and booze and more guns and ammo. So much that I'm convinced the ATF has him on a special list to this day. Side note: I saw a t-shirt that I need to get him that says "Alcohol,Tobacco and Firearms should be the name of a convenience store, not a government agency."

You see, the booze and cigarettes were because soon after Y2K, our economy would crumble and we'd go back to bartering for goods and services...he wanted to have "currency."

We still make fun of him for his Y2K stockpile...Let's hope we can make fun of his bird flu obsession in the same sentence at the Thanksgiving table a few years from now. I'd hate to think what awful fate would befall me if it really does become an epidemic!