Friday, July 07, 2006

I feel so utterly and hopelessly alone

Some days are just run of the mill days. You trodge in to work, punch the clock and go about your daily business. Some days there is some tiny sparkle that makes your worthless existence seem minutely relevant. Some days are different...today was different for me. That tiny sparkle in my day came in the form of a realization that I could possibly be walking through this world completely alone. I had to fight back the tears.

Robert Earl Keen sings a song about a total mental breakdown at a Chinese restaurant. My version of the song happened in a line at the bank this afternoon.

Allow me to elaborate. As early as two hours prior to my bank visit I was diligently filling out my deposit slip, endorsing my check and including my account number just to be safe. Mind you, I did it all in hopes of getting in and out of the bank in the grocery store and over to the beer isle so I could return home in a timely fashion to the blondes who were patiently waiting to enjoy a cold beverage on the porch with me. The best laid plans of mice and men...turn to crap!

Why am I the only one in this world who goes into a bank prepared to negotiate a simple transaction and get out and enjoy the rest of my days left on Earth? Why is everyone trying to pull off leveraged buyouts or arguing their case about why their checks bounced when they are in front of me at the bank? Why are they always complaining about having to show i.d. to cash a check? Why are they always asking to see their balance? Why do old men hopelessly flirt with the tellers? Why must I always be behind them?

I feel so alone. The next time I hear "Do you have a pen?" my head is going to explode! I wonder if there is anyone left in this world who is capable of conducting a very simple transaction in a timely fashion? When I stop shivering in the fetal position, I might just be willing to read your comments saying that you aren't like that...I might be inclined to believe you if I weren't so depressed...

Ahh, that felt good. I'm better now. Y'all have a good weekend and watch out for idiots. I can confirm that they are everywhere!

13 comments:

Snow White said...

It musta been your day for the nut jobs! I bought a house and went through the drive thru window at the bank this afternoon all in less than an hour! So I thank you, Adam, for handling the crazies for me today... I don't think I could have handled them! :)
xox

cmk said...

What drives me the craziest--hubby does almost all of the banking, bless his heart--is when I am in a store that has 2 gazillion checkouts, and they have TWO open! It is ALWAYS happening to me: I will walk into the place, at least ten checkouts are open, and when I go to get in line, there are only two open! And each one has ten people--with shopping carts OVERFLOWING--waiting to checkout. I think my showing up at a store is the cue for 99% of the 'sales associates' to go on their breaks. It is a cold, cruel world.

kat said...

i went into the "10 or under" line at the grocery store today behind a woman with a full cart. i changed to the other "10 or under" lane. oh, and old men flirting with people who are paid to put up with them is so, so sad.

Southern Fried Girl said...

What makes me crazy are the people who either don't have their damn check filled out at the grocery or have like 4 transactions for all the same shit. I could go on for days about that. Just get your shit, pay and get the fuck OUT.

Duly Inspired said...

I feel your pain. Yesterday at the drive-up ATM, the guy in front of me used not one but THREE cards. Who pulls cash from three different cards??? Even Cheyenne sighed her impatienc.

Red said...

Most people in general get on my nerves, particularly right now that I'm fixing to drop a kid at any time.

mollymcmommy said...

ahhh, i just want to give you a huge hug!!!!

(((adam)))

ok, corny i know, made me feel better anyway!!!

i hear you on the pen issue, why don't people carry a damn pen with them? or a watch for that matter? next time someone asks me for the time and if they can borrow my pen i'm gonna drop kick them one. LOL!

m

kat said...

i don't wear a watch. mollymcmommy is going to dropkick me. oops.

mollymcmommy said...

yikes kat, i'd never drop kick you one....i'm sure you carry a cell phone huh? has the time on it so no need to ask me to look at my watch right?!
m

Chickenhawk said...

Oye, please don't get me started on this one! There are idiots everywhere. I really feel your pain. Hope the weekend treated you well!

Kristy M said...

I hope you know how MUCH I loved this post! I work at a bank, that must have been you I saw in line! Everything you say is so true! I loved it. I have an office, so next time you come in, feel free to have a seat until the line goes down. You can share some stories with me about Tess and Molly. Better luck next time.

kat said...

it's nice to know mollymcmommy won't whup my ass even when i tell her that i don't have a cell phone either. usually i just try to find a clock or sneek looks at people's watches...which, admittedly, could be creepier.

mollymcmommy said...

kat, you crack me up! :)

m